'The Dependent' is a new publication in Dubai. It may be government owned but maybe not. This is not your business. Don't ask disparaging questions. Its mission is to fearlessly counter-report really totally unfair bad news about Dubai (which are not true anyway) and will rectify and undo slanderous attacks aimed at Dubai’s irreproachable image perpetrated by ingrate expatriate bastards who should leave if they don’t like it here.
It will be circulated freely and all residents are invited by law to read it over morning coffee smiling, whilst rubbing their ID cards on their chests three times. If you don’t have ID card you go jail.
Read the Good News here now or else.
